Pimping the Sloth

2002-07-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

Dog Soldiers.

British soldiers fighting werewolves. It sounded like a movie I wanted to watch the day it was released. It was.
More laughs than frights, the movie was campy B grade in every way possible. Only it was done by the English. A man walking up to a werewolf, emptying his shotgun HongKong gangster opera style, only to duck as the werewolf snatches his gun and shoots back. A man brandishing a sword and a pot at the same time. (Don't ask.) A man engaged in fisticuffs with a werewolf. Those were unforgettable scenes. There were countless memorable one liners too,
'Notice how the best things superglue sticks together are your fingers?' was my favourite, but you have to look at the situation.

Other slapstick antics were there too, somewhat reminiscent of Evil Dead. Brandishing of axes, swords and holding a lighter to a can of hairspray. It was all good.

On the campy horror movie scale, I'll give it a full score. It was a job well done.

2002-07-09T04:36:00.000-07:00

8 July 2002. Approximately 8 pm. East Coast.

There we were, men who cherished the camaderie of sharing a dinner table. The food was good, but secondary. The taste of the soba, udon, rice and fish didn't last a second more than the time it takes for the taste buds to recieve, and send those happy impulses to our brains. The memory, however, will last forever.

There we were, men, dressed in a flimsy tshirt and shorts, in the uniform of the republic of singapore air force, and that guy who seems to wear the same thing all the time. The owners didn't take a second look at us, thinking that we were going to grab the cheapest item on the menu, and drink them out of their supply of iced water.

We sat down, and watched as the busy restaurant moved on, serving dinners, eating dinners, bowing, shouting, exchanging forms of currency. We waited patiently, and made our light conversation. Were we ignored due to the fact that we asked if they accepted nets? one of us went to the atm, withdrew money and came back. when our orders were taken, we were just three, eating portions meant for six. 'are you sure?' the woman asked.

We shared our dinner table with half of the restaurant's crockery. Trays, bowls, chopsticks, cups, ladles, smaller bowls, and a little plate over a fire. That was a spread I would remember for a long time. eel, fish, beef, eggs, various forms of dead crustaceans, noodles, rice, soup, ice cream, beer, tea. it was fabulous when the manager intercepted a waitress to serve us personally. we were the ronin, who came back from a successful raid.

one of us licked a plastic leaf, thinking it was mint.

2002-07-07T21:52:00.000-07:00

At the very deep end of the pool of depression, when it seems that one cannot sink any further, my PS2 decided to blow up.

I hate this world.

2002-07-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

Tried to post yesterday, when emotion was brimming. Once in a while I would feel totally drained, too tired to do anything anymore. Excitement isn't exciting. Entertainment isn't entertaining. In MTV's, you sometimes had those people who lie on their beds and do nothing. I can sometimes empathise with them. But the bands don't play for me.

Comparing myself to a man who had led a fruitful life. A man who went down early, but left everything in place, made sure everything was well prepared. I would never have that peace of mind. Too often, I've felt pointless and redundant. My life seemed to be an exercise in futility. I don't affect anything. (And thusly, don't let anything affect me.)

Then I was talking to a friend that I've never met. Some guy in the US. He lost psychomotor capabilities in his entire left side. Car accident. Coma for a few months, goes to have his skull removed every once in a while for operations to his brain. He changed drastically, from a normal young man, eager to experience life and watch robot shows, to a man filled with self loathing, pessimism and hatred. 'I should have died there. This is just a poor excuse for a life.' He keeps on repeating. I had the whole log of the conversation I had with him that I wanted to post, but thankfully didn't. I won't use his emotions as an example. If it had happened to me, would I have changed that much from this past 5 years? Achieving nothing, rotting away, and waiting for something to come up from the ground to swallow me. I'm a person who finds no point in life, yet has no reason to end it. I achieve about the same as my friend, I loathe myself just as much, but I just go on, inch by inch, day by day, without hope of salvation. *scrapescrapescrape* I just have to push myself along in the most effortless way. I'll eventually reach the end.

I'm just depressed. It's one of those days where nothing makes sense, and in spite of all that was done so far, you just had to ask, 'What for?' or 'What's the point?'

Whinewhinewhine. Forgive me for whining. Sometimes it happens.

2002-06-28T04:07:00.000-07:00

Nothing inspired me to write so far. There's nothing except the usual boring details. This, that, blahblahblah. I have been working a lot and reading a bit, and sleeping at work, and stuff. Just so you know.

2002-06-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

aven't posted, been too tired..

I realised something. I let people walk all over me, and I don't have the skills to communicate.

I worked on a survey for the past 2-3 days, and when I showed it to my Branch Head, she just dismissed the thing.

"Didn't we agree to follow this set of survey questions?"

(I was working on my own initiatives, Ma'am, since I thought it would be impossible to translate this set to adhere to our requirements. I was thinking that the statistics generated won't reflect too well, and so I was trying to build something based on the results we want.)
"Uh, yeah, Ma'am."

"So what's this you're giving me now?"

(Something I've been working on for the past 2 days, something I cross referenced with criterium, went through the thesaurus looking for words that can be better phrased into sentences that don't look negative, made sure with several people that it wasn't a double layered/open ended/ambiguous question, got very unpleasant feedback from my friends about, and later refined.)
"Oh, I was just thinking..."

"This is not going to work, Josh. We agreed at the meeting that you'll just paraphrase these questions to suit our needs."

(...fuck.)
"Yes, Ma'am."

I go along with things too easily, I hate the conflict that comes after, the feeling that I'll run out of words, stuttering whatever I had in my mind, and coming out with better arguments 5 minutes after I leave the confrontation. It's easier to just comply, take a step back, clean up, and apologise. I always feel that it's better if you put on a more neutral front, and it's better to feel pissed inside, than to be angry outside. There's no fight, no winning, no losing that way. A bow, and the challenged admits defeat. People assume it's okay, and they'll move off eventually. I'll be there to clean up the place, unhappy, but sorta feeling wise, "A wise man knows not to fight, and somesuch rubbish." in a consolatory kind of way. It's easier to feel pissed inside, because you'll never lose an argument with yourself.

"Josh, why don't you go? You're so free anyway..."

(Ma'am, I spend my time trying to learn as much as I can before the fucker you love so much is going to run off without actually teaching me anything, and I sit around because most of the time, he's just doing things on his own, telling me to clean up his shit for him without the least bit of respect for somebody who is elder than him in age, rank and experience. You just give the damn kid a good chance, he plays games all day, you make me work for everything I'm trying to get, and you don't bother to see half of it.)
"Uh, Ma'am, I've got a survey to finish up on."

"What survey?"

(...)
"..."

These are two different people. They're just women who refuse to acknowledge the fact that I try. One thinks I do all the wrong things, and one thinks I don't do anything. They love the kid going off for his scholarship who has utterly no respect for anybody else, who is self absorbed and blows his top at the smallests of affairs. I don't want to complain. I don't want to whine. I just want to quietly clean up after everyone leaves the scene. That isn't so much to ask for, is it?

I find that I communicate a lot less. Emotional scarring, jadedness and nonplussedness are nice sounding excuses, but I just believe that I'm too tired to say anything anymore. People generally don't like to find out much about me, since I'm uninteresting. People generally don't need/want to understand me, because I act antisocial and eccentric. I used to make friends through IRC, and I have a lot of friends who developed from acquaintances. (Oh, you're that guy. Yeah, okay.) to pretty close friends, as close as I'll get, anyway. That doesn't happen anymore. I lost the will to make contact and communicate. It used to fascinate me, the spanning of distances to come personally to somebody you could have never known and be there in their lives. But now, it just feels empty.

It might be due to the Erica affair (which nobody except for me and Erica know about), but I can't blame anything on her. (Are you still around in this world, Erica? I've been terribly depressed for a long long time.) Just like people get tired and collapse after intense activity, I collapsed all my modes of communication. Now I say things to fill in the gaps, I try to illicit responses for the sake of petty conversation and I keep quiet and say 'I suppose' when things get too personal.

(Ha. Ha. Oxymoron. I ramble so much about myself not being able to talk.)

ll this will disappear if I just close the window, like how my thoughts are dismissed, and this will be kept inside me yet again (but I'm doing this because I have nothing to post, and I'm randomly drawing some lines of thought from within.) I have an urge to just close the window, since I find this whole block of text pretensious and myself too self-absorbed, but it's something to fill in the gaps, so I suppose I'll let this slide.

2002-06-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

Fun thing to do (unless you're Scottish)
-say the phrase below in a Scottish accent-

"I will destroy you, and your family. I will kill everyone I see, and then I'll buy lunch."

I invited everyone over to my apartment so that we could have a game, but most of us ended up sleeping. I woke up at 7 a.m. the day prior, there were people who didn't sleep before, there were those who were sick, and there was that one guy who slept anywhere provided he wasn't being harassed. Occasionally, he mumbled things like, "Joshhh... Coldddd..." and flipped over. I have no idea who did it, but somebody installed the A/C in my place and didn't clean up after that, so I swept the floor, and made everybody sit down. (There was an adventure where I was making a cockroach do acrobatic manuevers with a broom, and everybody was watching, but it's hard to describe, and you had to be there to understand the humour behind it.) We were all quite tired, and in a place without a bed, we had to make do with the weirdest sleeping positions, and the occasional shout of "Allenby! Allenby!"

In our game, it seemed like we were all pretty bored, and the DM was just going with whatever popped into his mind, so we killed a lot of strange things and made silly noises. Raihan was the one who kept shouting "Allenby!" because he just watched G Gundam, and Loren reminded him of Allenby (for reasons I cannot fathom.)

Simon and I, while smoking in the kitchen, noticed a man hiding suspiciously in the stairwell of the apartment opposite us, and he looked like he was squatting around and up to no good. Being civic minded, I shouted over to remind him not to masturbate in stairwells, and not to steal undergarments, but the guy was too engrossed in what he was doing. Simon then came out with this story about a guy who fucked cats, and uh.. I was trying to make people in the opposite block think I was giving somebody a blowjob. (Since, if we can look at what the opposite block is doing, the opposite block can probably see us as well, and scandals are good.)

I slept at 6 a.m. and woke up at 5 p.m. because in an empty, almost foreign place, you don't really have the concept of time. The day was wasted and I might stay up tonight as well, because I slept too much.

There were a shitload of cockroaches in the apartment, and twice were we visited by cockroaches. We were tempted to take them, and plant them on the sleeping idiots, but the cockroaches seemed pretty lost, so it wouldn't reflect positively on our karma. A lot of them seemed to have just flipped over and died in the strangest of places, but Simon thinks that they might have just ingested too much dishwashing detergent. I didn't sweep them up because I wanted to see what would happen to them the next time I went down. Possibly an infestation of ants, even (!)

I had a boring weekend, but it was boring in a good way. So, what did you do?

2002-06-15T01:06:00.000-07:00

Notable.

--Gungrave. Naito Yasuhiro (Trigun) + Sega = Good thing. Limited Ed supposedly comes with Kaiyodo action figure. (!!)

--Panzer Dragoon Orta - Reason to get an Xbox.

--Soul Calibur 2: In arcades this July?

--Gulity Gear XX looks like a fabulous addition to the series. Next in the series will be for 21+ only.

--Shinobi (Sega) is coming as well, and it looks sweet.

--There's a Lupin III game by Banpresto as well, looks like Espionage Action (like Metal Gear Solid)

--How about that Robotech game?

++Breaking News++

Super Robot Wars R for GBA.

And this would make me happy any day.

Lots of exciting things happening.

Gear Fighter Dendoh and more importantly Shin Getta Robo vs Neo Getta Robo. (Although Neo Getta is quite useless in lieu of the Shin Getta.)

I have to get myself some money to spend, it seems.

2002-06-12T04:52:00.000-07:00

i never have anything philosophical to say, nothing that i write will make people suddenly stop to wonder about how they percieve me to me, and the way i actually am. there is a fair amount of self gratification whenever i write in my blogs, but nothing world shaking. the events in here may be dramatic and exciting to me, but droll to the otherwise disaffected, jaded and terminally depressed. those should have stopped reading pimping sloth all together, and those who just want to know what's happening in my life will stay. i have no worries about that, that's the way it should be, and that's the way that i'll make it. contrary to popular belief, my life isn't all about boring things. and it is because i got new toys(!!!)

both are by yamato, a manufacturer from which i have never bought anything from, but is a good company in it's own right (i prefer kaiyodo) they should be pretty old products by now, but first up is the ginrei statuette that i talked briefly about a couple of weeks ago. i was thinking of getting the red dress version, but i ended up getting the black dress version, because i prefer her expression on this one.

ginrei is a jane bond in the giant robo anime, and the first 10 minutes of the show bowled me over. her earrings detonate, she hangs by the side of a train with one hand and shoots with the other, and .. eh, you'll have to see that scene for yourself. (have the vcd, should i be getting the dvd?) she's extremely cool, an independant lady who knows that she can suffice on her own. the fact that her black dress is shorter on the red dress version is not the reason why i bought it, mind. she has a gun in the red dress version, but i prefer her smiling.

the second one costs 5 times more, and i'm glad i got it because it's the most amazing thing i bought next to my diecast gaogaigar (the guy on the side. he fell off the shelf, fixed with superglue) it's the macross valkyrie, the blue one piloted by max jenius. i really like max and millia jenius (got a figure of her on the shelf) and i wanted to get the blue valkyrie for a long long time, and now i'm glad that i did. i used to have fully diecast ones, one was twice the size of the other, but they both were roy fokkers. it was cool, and i wished i still had them, but this one is ultimate in detail. it even comes with decals(!!!) i've no place on the shelf to put it as its fighter form, so i'll have to transform it and pose it holding it's rifle. the plane is sleek, but battroid isn't that bad.

next will come meryl strife from trigun, once she's released, and since i have a lot more pay coming, i could order this as well.

interesting news. naito yasuhiro (of trigun fame) is involved in some ps2 game, i think it's called gungrave. while this might not have anything to do with trigun, it would be cool to play. will get, most probably. and i'm awaiting virtual on and shinobi, it seems sega will release those pretty soon. (they've been quiet for a while, with small releases like beach volleyball games and whatever, and larger releases like virtua fighter 4 [which i don't really like that much.] so something big might come along.)

enough? i have to go figure out how to transform my toys.

2002-06-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

interesting things.

1) parades get less irritating, and more tolerable.
2) i want to have all my hair back.
3) found shop that custom makes bondage gear. (well, makes leather clothes.)
4) i need new games
5) parents get less tolerable, and more irritating.
6) wondering what happened to that guy in primary school who always had a problem with something.

No aggression, evil intent or vandalism, just burnt skin. It's a stupid affair, but somebody has to fill up that particular slot in an orgy of a thousand people nobody will bother to look at. And these are the people who contract skin cancer For Their Country.

P.S. Can't think of anything, will come back after sleep.

2002-06-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

Parade sucks. There. Trying to squeeze in as much as I can before I run off to do it. I should call in sick, but I don't want to do that for the Nth time, so.. here goes..

I'll bitch about this and that later. I'm sure that 11 hours later, I'll be all pumped full of hatred and evil intent.

2002-06-04T03:34:00.000-07:00

Cantonese Phrases
Lesson 23

"Ngor dei yat chai fun kao, yeh mann dar lei see fatt."

We sleep together, spank you at night.

2002-06-03T01:27:00.000-07:00

Nothing today. Maybe later.

Ghost Babel -Gone to get.

2002-06-01T06:15:00.000-07:00

Today.

I went down to where I was supposed to be moving to. The tenants before that apparently didn't want to move out, and when they did (which was this afternoon) they didn't seem too happy to. As grown men are apt to do, they thrashed the place. The air conditioning, the fridge, much of the place itself was destroyed, and the kitchen was flooded. They didn't exactly clean up the place, and I guess I'm going to have to do it tomorrow. Damn punks, wait till I get my hands on you! *shakes fist*

The next thing they will do is exact their revenge, and set fire to the place after I move in. Golly gee, I'll have to hide in my flooded kitchen. I'll be in the same building as my dear friend Syamsul, though, so it'd be nice. We could go for dinner, and talk fondly about our lives in the army. *eyes light up*

I'm not enthusiastic. I have a shitload of things to do, and moving will screw me up.

2002-05-30T23:41:00.000-07:00

I hate teknologi.

2002-05-29T05:24:00.000-07:00

People have reacted in various ways to my online declaration that I -might- be signing on with the Air Force. It wasn't exactly a joke, but I'm not exactly sure if it's concrete.

Dear friends, relax, please. It would be cool, but I am still considering it, and I probably won't come to a decision until after sufficient thought. (And I still have to wait for my term to end. There's still a year to go.) I may or may not sign on depending on whether I can continue my education or now. What I meant to say was, in the absence of a better job, it is possible, but not neccesary so, that I join the Air Force. One person has told me that planning for an eventuality that I don't want to see myself in is like setting myself for the fall; forging a self-fulfilling prophecy; creating a false blanket of security and all that rubbish. It's okay, I have my sights set high, but since the future is uncertain, it's not inappropriate to have other plans. Others have told me how bad the life there can be, and I fail to see how it can be worse than living in a box. (Which could happen.) It's a job, it's not a hobby. More importantly and more valid, is that I might 'sell myself to the nation' and change my mind halfway. It's alright, by the time I get there, I'll probably be in a bad enough state to not want to do whatever I want on a whim. At that point of time, I might already have other things to think about, aging parents, family, perhaps, and I think that I have to stop dreaming like a child, and make preparations for the future.

I'll stop justifying all the reasons why working in the Air Force is not out of the question, and move on to other things.

I have this deep seated hatred for people who turn everything into philosophy, science and theology. Maybe it's just that I find some Names unfamiliar, maybe it's because people act self-important for having tidbits of knowledge 'that you'll never have'. I am a school dropout, I learnt all I know from making mistakes. I pick things up slowly as I go along (Underachiever, learning defeciency and all) and I really can't stand it when somebody comes along and says, "You know when you nearly went into prison? So and so says this and that, so whatever you learnt from that experience is invalidated." I can't stand all these jaded intellectuals who tell me how bleak the world is when they're all holed up in their protective shells, pointing and commenting on this and that. I mean, some people are well-read, brought up in a stable enviroment, and I respect that. But when it becomes a trend to quote whoever's fashionable now, be depressed or angry about immensely trivial things, but still act like immature children, it starts to get out of hand.

I'm not pointing accusatory fingers at people, I'm not trying to ask you to pity my sorry state (Since I'm not really in a sorry state.) I'm probably contradicting myself, "So what marks the difference between you and us?" you might be thinking to yourselves. I'm not trying to say that I understand how bleak the world is, I'm not saying that I don't act like an immature child and get emotional about things. I'm not saying that I have nothing that other people have, nor am I trying to say that people don't have something that I do. It's just irritating sometimes when somebody spews off something with emotion just because it's cool to.

(I had a point to make, but I must have forgot what it was.)

2002-05-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

Moving off onto another tangent, I'll blog about the stuff I did today.

Yesterday, actually. Had Scandivanian food and japanese beer. Shao, Edmund and I went off for a walk, and ended up drinking tea in a chinese tea house. I opted for the standard Tie Guan Yin, Shao had green tea called Xi Hu Long Jing (Dragon Well of Western River? I didn't read the words) and Edmund had Cha Wang, the king of teas. It's felt so weird to feel foreign to do something of your own culture, and it was okay until a tourist walked in and was looking at a tea set when I felt quite alienated. That could have been something I would have done; "Oh! Chinese teapot! How quaint, I'll buy this and show my friends." We were gesturing to each other all chinese like, and pretend-writing poetry. Awfully sad to make fun of yourself.

Now, today, I went to watch Mean Machine, and found this little statuette of Ginrei I want to buy. Me and Shao, we were walking around my area of town first, and staging a Kamen Rider fight on top of some building we found our way to because it occured to me to do so. Acting randomly on a whim, that's what I do best. Mean Machine was quite hilarious, but Snatch was nicer since it had Vinnie Jones as Bullettooth Tony instead of a mundane ex soccer player. It's still good, though. I figured we can't have him catching soccer balls in his teeth, it was okay. Justifiable. He just looks less menacing, and more human now. It's a protagonist syndrome.

Till tomorrow, together with it's exciting facets comes, I urge you to have a good day, and join the Monk fanclub.

2002-05-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

The future is uncertain. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I haven't got much in the way of education, can't say that I'm particularly talented in any field, and am too irresponsible to get off my bed. *curls under blanket*

Now I might go on working in the armed forces(the only people who'd hire), but I want to go to the air force. It's supposedly more intelligent than the army, but anything has got to be more intelligent than the army. Top Gun sold me over. I'll stand at the highway to the danger zone, waving my sticks that light up (I'll find out what they call that, just you wait) in precise motions, and some pilot who's probably getting higher pay and having more fun than I am is going fly over me. I like the Navy too, but you'll have to sit in the ship, and everybody knows what being out too long at sea does to people. So I'm opting for the non-gay option. That is to say, if I don't have any other alternatives.

Maybe this whole economical slump was created to make companies downsize, and create an influx of taxi drivers and soldiers. I used to believe that I'd survive on my *ahem* wits, and fantastic social skills, but it doesn't seem likely, so I suppose now is as good a time as any to start on the planning. I'd like to sit down and draw for the rest of my life, but that seems improbable. I'm going to have to strategise one step at a time, and hopefully end up as a rich old man with a happy family in a house by the beach.

Right.

2002-05-24T04:45:00.000-07:00

'The tendency to see the future through yesterday's eyes leads to resistance to change'

I never quote people. Heck, I don't even know who said this, so let's treat it as something from somewhere I quoted.

I've grown so old, but kept on to my childhood so much that I grew up without knowing I did. And I may be happier like this. Who likes change? I didn't want to hit 20, or go off to do stuff I never wanted to do, but when I did, I tried so hard to remember what made me happy so that I could find that same happiness. The only things that made me happy were when things were simpler, and I was more easily satisfied. I smiled and laughed without the need for justification. Now I smile and laugh, and wonder why I did. These last few days, it seems, my posts have been keeping on the same track. Maybe I need to stop and take slow breaths.

It's interesting. Have you taken an especially long walk, and turned around to see how far you've come? It's amazing, and it does wonders to take your mind off the road in front. For me, I evaluate my life like that. And I've come to the conclusion that I took a series of wrong turns somewhere along the way.
The walk still goes on, though. That's perhaps the saddest thing.

2002-05-23T03:47:00.000-07:00

Ah, I'm listening to Sons of Liberty. Feels so good after a days work.

I find myself strapped so badly for time. Each day just bleeds into the next, like one continous day, with 'go home and sleep' breaks. During work, I feel like going home to draw a picture because inspiration struck, or something. (I sit around at work, waiting for inspiration to strike) and when I get home, I feel too lazy to do anything other than watch TV and eat my dinner on my bed. I wonder if it's like that when you grow old and start waiting for the big ORD in the sky.

I decided that life was pointless unless you do something you really want to do, and finding that certain something you want to do is impossible. (We have this function programmed into our genetic coding that makes us grow weary of something once we do it enough. Sloths are the only creatures who don't have that, and that's why they're happy hanging from branches their whole lives. It's not a very exciting life, but they were also programmed to have the urge to feed themselves once they start getting all existential) I mean, you can't have everything, can you? Even if you're a porn star. You'll have a job, some amount of recognition, some amount of happiness, sore genitals, but you still won't be satisfied. Well, maybe only sexually. So I'm going to stop smiling, stop being happy about things, and hide myself from plain view. When you can't meet some standards, you have to set them to a more achievable level. For me, achieving nothing is all I need, for now at least.

I'll go hang from a branch now.

2002-05-21T04:15:00.000-07:00

I have an anecdote I'd like to share.

When I was about, what, 4 or 5, I used to be so much in love with the times before. Perhaps those were the times when I found it amazing that there was -something- there before I was. (As much as I could remember, at least) Old black and white photographs of my father and mother, Charlie Chaplin shows (which made a whole lot of sense when I was that age) I was so amazed with the idea that time started before I did (and I still am) that once I asked my mother how come the world was black and white before, and colour (apparently) seeped in one day and made us like we were. She just looked shocked, smiled at me and told me that there used to be colour in the old days as well, though try as I must, I couldn't picture colour in the 50's. I still can't. The past is painted in a romantic monochrome (and later in the hazy, though exciting tones of Ultraman and Scooby Doo)

I guess that I'm too easily misled by perceptions, and these misconceptions stay with me for a long long time. I once thought that in the future, we'll have flying cars and homes in space, but now that I'm in the future, I find myself waiting for more time to pass, technology to transcend the laws of physics, and nitrogen breathing lungs to evolve. The world gets more boring when you grow up, but for the sake of keeping sane, keep Ultraman, Scooby Doo and black and white photographs close to your heart.

I fear the day that I forget those.

2002-05-18T03:02:00.000-07:00

Some people are assholes.
But assholes are people too.
Do the less fortunate a favour.
Fuck an asshole today.

2002-05-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

Console Price Wars. I saw that on the news, and went to check out how much things have dropped.

1) I got my PS2 a couple of months too early. Fuck.
2) I can go get the rest of the competition consoles now. Yay.

But the PS2 is US $199? WTF? You're just going to make it easier for Saddam to build nuclear targeting devices, Sony, and when we all die, you'll be the ones responsible.

2002-05-13T04:38:00.000-07:00

I never thought there'd be a way to combine the 50's with hints that I'm into beastiality. Hell, I didn't even know the latter until tonight.

I got my hair cut, by a very old man. He was using a pair of shears, and a pair of shears it was, I kid you not. The kind you use for fleecing sheep. Again, I kid you not. They were less industrial sized (I suppose.. I doubt you can use the same pair to cut hair and to make naked sheep. Or not.) I suppose he got his hairdressing skillz in the age before electric shavers, and tradition is a hard thing to discard. The fucker gave me a '50's hairstyle.

He did everything I told him not to do, and managed to comb my hair so that I looked like Chairman Mao. Some things are just that hard to believe.

Look, I'll try to get pictures up as soon as I can.

SHEARS! If I didn't stop him, he would have dug the gunk out of my ears and applied chiropractry on me. Maybe polish my boots, trim my nose hair or something.

2002-05-02T04:33:00.000-07:00

Cheer up, World!

2002-04-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

Shao is telling me about how scary Silent Hill 2 sounds, after he read 'Three ears later.'

I had a good talk with Shao, and I guess we both sorted a few things out. This and that, here and there. Nothing life-changing, just telling each other how our outlook on life has changed this past while. Life, I feel, is going too fast, each day bleeds into the next (which is how you want your army life to be.) and before I knew, almost a year has past me by. I can tell myself, yeah, I did this and that, I learnt stuff from doing this and that, but ultimately, I can't count seconds anymore. Minutes are fast fleeting by, and before I'm ready to give it up, a day passes. I'm not sure if I did more with my day while I was bumming around, but time seemed to go by slower. Which is good if you have a self imposed stop watch on yourself. *tick tick tick* Would I have been happier if I had bummed and fooled around all day till I collapse, and get diagnosed with some disease (and bummed more after that, since I would be a sick sick boy then) or if I had productively used that time to build bridges or launch a war?

I'm not the sort to look back and regret, but it's always good during a particularly long walk to look back to see how far you've come, and realise that it wasn't all that far. (After all, you just push yourself along...)

Still, Spiderman is alright. It's not supercool, but .. it was the way I expected a superhero show to be. Like Blade, or X-men, or Blade 2 before that. It's one thing to act excited when you're brimming with enthusiasm, but it's another to sit down to think of something you really want to jot down, but realise that you've got nothing much to write about. I would like to be able to climb walls, of course. That'd be nice. But flying is still the best.

Sleep first. Blog later.

2002-04-29T05:08:00.000-07:00

I spent my last bit of money. It was a choice between Parappa the Rapper 2 and two other games and the Cowboy Bebop DVDs. I got the DVDs. I think it's remastered with Dolby Digital, but my sound sucks to much for me to notice anything. Still, it's all good.

I ripped off a front bumper yesternight, and I think I'm going to have to spend my next pay on the repair for that.It was cool, though. How we fixed it using rope, and how the elastic rope lashed into my eye. It's quite exciting to think about it and speculate on how I could have blinded myself and all, but it was quite a dumb thing, all of it, so eh, there was almost no sense of cool in that. I didn't even get a cool scar out of it.

Ah well, and it's back to work tomorrow.

2002-04-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

My AD&D character got swallowed whole.Shao sucks.
I got taken down half of my HP with a breath weapon, and then got swallowed whole. After that, I was paralysed, and coated with acid for 2D6 damage every round.
All this while, I was doing 1D6 damage to the damn thing, and I died because of a very bad call.

I guess, sometimes, playing games with a Memory Card and a controller is still the best way a person can have fun.

I still have to vent some pent up aggression. CHEETOAD!

2002-04-26T04:05:00.000-07:00

I suck. My life isn't productive. I spend my leisure hours waiting in front of the computer to see who comes online, and not talk to them. Either that or I'll spy that you have to play a game for 50 hours to unlock some major secret, then leave my whatever console on for 2 days, and not play it, because, sure, it'd be great to play now, but it'd be better to play later when you have the major secret thing. (Secret's a foul foul word. What secret gets publicised on every game page? But I have better things to do than to look for elusive things that'll make your gaming life feel more wholesome, and then publishing it online for the fans. Better things.)
I suck.

2002-04-26T02:24:00.000-07:00

I confess. I almost gave this up. There weren't too much things to say, and I was busy with wanking my PS2 off. But just when you thought it'd go away, an update comes, like the efficient Shocking Grasp spell! Efficient when you use it on level 1's. Which all of you are. ~SHOOOOCKING GRASPU!

In a recent turn of events, I am no longer pale and responsible. I am now a slightly more tan skiver. This week at work, I did absolutely nothing, except my duty in which I have to stay in camp, and try to peek down my officer's shirt. (He was reading a book. The TV wasn't working. Well, it ..was, but it looked like it might break down, so I didn't turn it on, and left it there for the guy the next day to answer for it.) and the rehearsal for my parade, in which the tone deaf are supposed to march to drum beats. (There, I said it, drum beats. The mystery behind the impeccable coordination has been disspelled.) I basically hold a gun, and wait for the sun to fry the left side of my body. We get to fry the other only if we fuck up too much. (It'd be afternoon, then, and the sun would have rolled over to the other side.)

Shao sent me a 3 part SMS, telling me of some apocalypse/big bang (I can't figure out which one it's supposed to be) theory. Sigh. What a guy. It's SMS's like that that make me feel important and businessman-like. 'Oh, yeah. We'll discuss this later, I've got something to do now.' The 3 parter also brought my attention to the fact that my phone's battery life is one week standby time, and 3 seconds talk time.

I want new games! Mail me if you don't mind buying me PS2 games.

2002-04-22T04:25:00.000-07:00

BTW, I'm trying to upload the picture of the guy on the sidebar onto somewhere. His name is Gaogaigar, and he's a friendly robot of subatomic hammering evil monstering action. That's a shinkansen train on his shoulders, and a B-52 on his back. Just in case you weren't sure.

Surreal isn't the word I'd use.

2002-04-22T04:22:00.000-07:00

I got all the Tekken 4 secret characters. I feel fulfilled. Thank you very much.

Lee owns you.

2002-04-22T00:52:00.000-07:00

[breathe. 2nd try.]

This is it. I'm a sucker for trendy things and self gratification. See this now? Two-in-one, my friend.
I have got absolutely no idea what I'm doing with this. Most probably I'll be giving it up in a couple of weeks, perhaps. But it is the pinnacle of convenient technological advances. Now you don't have to call me to find out what I'm doing, invading my private time in doing so (Or if I'm evading your calls) You can tell if I'm busy, free or dead with this snazzy implement of voyeurism, complete with snazzy layout and clickable things.

Three cheers for people who think other people bother!

(I did this once before, now I cleaned it up a bit, so it don't suck as bad no more.)

[breathe]